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About 'getting my nose pierced'|Should I get my nose pierced before or after my interview ...







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About 'getting my nose pierced'|Should I get my nose pierced before or after my interview ...








We               would               never               presume               to               tell               you               how               to               raise               your               kids.

We               do               not               have               child               psychology               degrees               or               strings               of               impressive               letters               after               our               names.

My               wife               is               a               corporate               trainer               and               I               am               a               high               school               teacher.

What               qualifies               us               to               write               this               article               is               that               we               have               four               loving,               successful               children.

We               are               sure               that               many               of               you               could               write               a               great               article               based               on               your               family               experiences               about               the               word               No!,               but               we               thought               of               it               first,               we               hope.

If               we               have               told               our               kids               "No!"               one               time,               we               have               said               it               at               least               1,678,475               times               -               "No!"               While               growing               up               at               home,               our               children               told               us               many               times               we               were               the               strictest               parents               on               earth.

Now               they               are               raising               our               grandchildren               the               same               way               we               raised               them.

But               perhaps               you               desire               to               raise               your               kids               with               a               positive               attitude               in               a               loving               home               and               you               believe               "No"               conveys               damaging               negativity.

If               No!

is               such               a               negative               expression,               why               should               anybody               use               it?

Instead               of               rebuking               your               angelic               child               with               such               negativity,               why               not               share               with               your               child               your               life               experiences.

Listening               to               the               wisdom               you               impart,               the               child               will               see               the               logic               of               your               reasoning,               and               will               abstain               from               the               undesirable               behavior.

What               a               perfect               world               that               would               be.

But               you               know               as               well               as               us,               that               dream               world               does               not               exist.

So,               here               are               several               good               reasons               why               you               should               use               No!
               One,               No!

is               quick.

Sometimes               you               may               not               have               time               to               give               reasons,               before               your               kid               jumps               off               the               roof,               breaks               both               legs,               causing               you               to               rush               him               to               the               emergency               room               where               you               have               been               so               many               times               before,               that               they               look               at               you               suspiciously,               whisper,               scribble               on               a               clipboard,               and               reach               for               the               phone.

You               then               take               days               and               days               off               work               to               wait               on,               hand               and               foot,               a               demanding,               ungrateful,               whining               child               who               is               constantly               complaining               that               he               can't               go               swimming               or               play               with               his               friends.

All               this               could               have               been               prevented               with               a               simple               "No!"
               No!

Don't               touch               that               stove,               it's               hot               and               will               burn               you.

Some               kids               are               going               to               touch               the               stove               anyway               and               get               burned               -               like               our               oldest               daughter               did               when               she               was               about               four.

Hopefully,               they               will               not               be               hurt               badly               and               will               always               remember               that               you               told               them               the               truth.

After               the               danger               is               over,               then               give               the               reasons.

Explain               that               even               though               the               electric               stove's               burner               is               not               glowing               red               hot,               does               not               mean               that               it               lacks               the               ability               to               cause               a               nasty               burn.

With               some               kids,               and               you               know               your               kid               better               than               anyone               else               does,               a               slap               on               the               reaching               hand               may               need               to               accompany               the               No!

This               is               not               "violence"               and               will               hurt               much               less               than               the               burn.

Sometimes               you               do               not               have               time               to               give               detailed               reasons               to               prevent               serious               injury.

While               some               lessons               can               be               learned               the               hard               way               -               others               are               deadly               and               you               may               only               have               one               chance!
               Two,               No!

gets               the               kid's               attention.

When               you               say               No!

and               the               kid               knows               you               mean               it,               he               will               immediately               focus               on               you               and               stop               putting               the               cat               into               the               washing               machine               thereby               saving               the               cat               and               the               last               decent               pair               of               bed               sheets               you               have               because               you               weren't               around               to               say               No!

when               he               used               the               others               for               tents,               ghosts,               and               Superman               capes.
               Recently               while               waiting               at               a               restaurant               for               a               table,               there               was               a               cute               little               toddler               playing               under               the               watchful               eye               of               a               young               mother.

She               gave               him               a               piece               of               gum.

He               took               the               wrapper               off,               put               the               gum               in               his               mouth,               and               threw               the               wrapper               on               the               floor.

His               mother               told               him               to               pick               it               up.

The               toddler               replied,               "No!"               You               see,               this               is               the               wrong               person               using               the               word               No.

The               mother               shrugged               and               gave               out               a               sigh               and               the               child               wandered               off               in               search               of               other               stimulation.

Several               minutes               later,               the               family               was               called               for               their               table               and               the               gum               wrapper               was               left               on               the               floor               for               someone               else               to               pick               up.
               Three,               No!

is               decisive.

When               you               say               No!

and               mean               it               EVERY               time,               your               kid               knows               he               is               close               to               a               limit               you               have               set.

The               kid               must               then               decide               if               exceeding               that               limit               will               be               worth               it.

Your               job               is               to               see               that               it               is               not.
               There               was               a               teenaged               boy               in               our               neighborhood               told,               "No!

Don't               fight               because               you               may               get               your               teeth               knocked               out."               He               tested               the               limit               by               getting               into               a               fight               and               was               stabbed               by               the               other               kid.

He               suffered               a               very               painful               recovery               period               from               the               injury               and               infection.

He               was               very               lucky               because               he               lived               and               was               left               with               no               permanent               disability.

Teaching               your               kid               "No!"               at               an               early               age               will               enable               him               to               prevent               injury               or               death               because               he               will               learn               which               limits               should               never               to               be               tested.
               The               kid               with               the               gum               wrapper               tested               a               limit               and               was               allowed               to               exceed               it.

If               he               continues               to               exceed               limits,               then               some               day               the               mother               may               try               to               say,               "No!

Don't               take               that               gun               to               school."               Of               course               the               kid               will               not               listen               to               his               mother               because               he               knows               she               does               not               really               mean               it.

That               young               mother               was               probably               embarrassed               to               discipline               her               child               in               public.

All               she               had               to               do               was               take               the               child's               hand,               guide               it               to               the               paper               on               the               floor,               and               have               him               pick               it               up.

Then               take               him               to               a               trash               receptacle               to               dispose               of               it.

If               her               child               screamed               during               the               process,               so               what?

It               would               be               better               for               him               to               scream               now               in               a               public               restaurant               than               later               in               prison.

Also               the               mother               would               have               gained               her               kid's               respect.

Everyone               there               would               have               silently               applauded               her               because               she               insisted               on               teaching               her               kid               to               do               the               right               thing.

She               missed               a               wonderful               teaching               opportunity,
               If               you               start               teaching               the               word               "No!",               when               your               kid               is               a               baby,               you               will               be               doing               the               baby,               you,               and               society               a               great               service.

When               you               say               "No!"               and               make               it               stick,               you               are               establishing               limits               for               your               child.

The               limits               you               set               are               going               to               be               tested               much               more               than               1,678,475               times.

Make               sure               you               can               pass.

Children               do               not               know               about               limits,               and               they               don't               know               the               term               limits,               but               they               know               they               want               them.

They're               confused               and               uncertain               if               they               don't               have               them.

Our               kids               have               all               told               us               how               much               they               appreciated               having               limits               now               that               they               are               adults.

For               example,               you               do               not               allow               a               kid               to               set               their               own               bedtime               because               they               would               never               go               to               bed.

We               told               our               kids               they               had               to               go               to               bed               so               we               could               stay               up               and               do               secret               adult               stuff.

You               do               not               allow               a               kid               to               decide               where               and               what               to               eat               because               they               will               usually               choose               junk               food               that               is               bad               for               them.

As               a               parent,               you               must               always               set               an               example               even               if               you               are               dying               for               fries               with               that               gut               busting,               triple               bacon,               heart               stopping,               Blamo               burger.

You               do               not               allow               a               kid               to               decide               if               or               where               they               want               to               go               to               school.

Of               course               they               are               going               to               school.

"What               an               absurd               idea!"               that               a               kid               would               be               allowed               to               decide               between               public,               private,               or               home               school.

Kids               do               not               have               any               cumulative               life               experience               to               make               an               informed               decision               about               school.

But               you               do,               so               you               decide               for               them.

If               this               sounds               as               if               you               are               setting               yourself               up               as               a               family               dictator,               that's               because               you               are.

Nobody               ever               said               that               a               family               is               a               democracy.
               Take               a               closer               look               at               these               standard               everyday               no-nos.

No!

Don't               run               with               scissors,               you               may               hurt               yourself               and               break               the               scissors.

No!

Don't               hit               your               brother.

He               may               hit               you               back               in               the               mouth               and               ruin               your               teeth               on               which               we               spent               thousands               of               dollars               for               braces               to               straighten               them.

No!

Don't               run               into               the               street.

You               may               get               hit               by               a               car,               become               an               invalid,               and               be               a               burden               on               your               parents               for               the               rest               of               your               life.

No!

Don't               climb               on               the               roof.

We               don't               have               time               to               go               to               the               Emergency               Room               tonight.

It               would               ruin               our               evening.

Notice               here               that               the               word               No!

is               accompanied               by               something               very               important               -               the               truthful               reason               why               you               say               No!

A               little               humor               never               hurts,               either.

Sometimes               children               remember               the               humorous               reasons               better               than               a               nasty               threatening               ultimatum.

The               truth               part               is               very,               very               important.
               Always               tell               the               truth               no               matter               what.

Look               at               it               this               way.

If               you               lie               to               your               child,               or               anybody               else               for               that               matter,               you               have               to               keep               track               of               which               lie               you               told               to               whom.

That               can               quickly               become               an               enormous               amount               of               data               to               sort               and               remember.

Telling               the               truth               is               much               easier               because               there               is               not               as               much               to               remember,               and               it               teaches               your               kid               to               tell               the               truth.

Oh,               what               a               tangled               web               we               weave               when               first               we               practice               to               deceive.

If               you               lie               about               even               little               things,               your               kids               will               eventually               catch               you               at               it               and               you               lose               all               credibility.

When               that               happens,               they               will               not               believe               you               about               the               big               things.

No!

Don't               drink,               it's               bad               for               you.

No!

Don't               smoke,               it's               bad               for               you.

No!

Don't               do               drugs,               it's               bad               for               you.

No!

Don't               join               that               gang,               it's               bad               for               you.

If               you               get               them               listening               to               No!

about               the               little               every               day               mundane               things,               you               may               never               have               to               say               No!

about               drinking,               drugs,               gangs,               and               other               big               things.
               Once,               there               was               a               TV               ad               for               a               detergent               company               that               shows               a               mother               coming               home               from               work               and               giving               her               kid               a               fresh               clean               blanket               that               he               drags               around               everywhere.

The               idea               of               the               ad               is               that               if               she               uses               this               germ-killing               detergent,               she               will               not               have               to               say,               "No!

Don't               touch               that               because               it's               dirty."               The               mother               states,               "When               I               come               home               from               a               hard               day               at               work,               I               don't               want               to               be               a               disciplinarian."               If               she               doesn't               want               to               be               the               disciplinarian               for               her               child,               who               will?

So               the               kid               in               the               commercial               touches               everything               with               his               blanket               from               the               bathroom               floor               to               dead               fish.

Well,               I               believe               by               now               that               we               all               know               that               no               detergent               can               ever               be               adequate               for               a               well               placed               No!"               Additionally,               saying,               "No!

Don't               touch               that               because               it's               dirty."               is               much               faster,               easier               than               washing               clothes.

It               is               by               far               more               beneficial               to               the               child               than               subjecting               the               washing               machine               to               unnecessary               wear               and               tear,               and               wasting               your               precious               time.

If               you               do               not               teach               your               child               the               meaning               of               No!,               society               will               have               to               do               it               for               you.

Society               is               not               as               considerate               and               forgiving               toward               your               kid               as               you               would               be.

If               left               to               society               to               teach               No!

to               your               teenager               or               young               adult,               it               could               involve               prison               time.
               Chose               your               No's               carefully,               however.

Don't               automatically               say               No!

to               everything.

If               you               do,               communication               may               be               lost.

You               may               not               have               a               chance               to               give               advice               before               critical               decisions               are               made               by               your               kids               without               your               participation.

Save               your               No's               for               when               they               are               really               necessary.

Find               out               why               they               want               a               nose,               navel,               lip,               tongue,               or               worse               ring               inserted               while               you               silently               wonder,               "Is               this               is               the               same               kid               who               screamed               his               head               off               when               he               had               to               get               a               measles               shot?"               Do               they               understand               the               implications               of               taking               care               of               such               a               wound?

Are               the               place               and               people               they               have               chosen               to               maim               and               mutilate               their               body               careful,               reputable,               and               sanitary?

Are               they               willing               to               accept               the               suspicious               looks               of               adults               who               will               assume               they               are               criminals,               drug               addicts,               or               out               of               work               rock               stars?
               Our               youngest               daughter               came               home               with               a               nose               ring               during               her               sophomore               year.

Sophomore               year               is               one               of               the               toughest               for               the               parents               as               you               discover               why               the               word,               sophomore               means               "Wise               Fool."               It               was               just               a               small               stud               but               we               hated               it               and               told               her               so.

We               did               not               say,               No!

because               it               was               her               choice               and               she               had               to               live               with               it.

We               were               concerned               about               infection               because               she               had               always               had               trouble               with               her               pierced               ears               becoming               infected.

She               promised               to               be               careful               and               was               proud               of               this               decision               she               had               made.

We               don't               remember               how               long               she               had               it,               but               one               time               when               she               came               home,               it               was               not               there.

She               was               upset               when               we               did               not               notice,               and               finally,               asked               me               if               we               knew               it               was               gone.

We               really               had               not!

We               had               grown               used               to               seeing               it               as               a               part               of               her.

Our               son               got               the               tattoo               in               the               wise               fool               year.

Both               had               to               bear               the               consequences               of               their               decisions               and               no               one               else               was               hurt.

Read               the               preceding               sentence               several               times.

This               is               a               good               guideline               to               follow               when               you               chose               your               battles               over               No!
               Teach               your               child               the               meaning               of               the               word               No!

When               you               say               "No!"               and               make               it               stick,               you               are               establishing               limits               for               your               child.

Set               limits               for               your               kid.

Kids               want               limits.

They're               confused               and               uncertain               if               they               don't               have               them.

Setting               limits               sounds               easy,               doesn't               it?

It's               not.

When               you               set               a               limit,               stick               to               it               no               matter               what               even               if               you               have               to               miss               the               Marine               ball               to               enforce               it.

If               you               let               a               limit               slide               even               once,               you               placed               a               chink               in               your               parenting               armor               that               can               be               impossible               to               repair.

There               will               be               other               balls,               but               you               only               get               one               chance               with               your               kids.

The               limits               you               set               are               going               to               be               tested               much               more               than               1,678,475               times.

Make               sure               you               can               pass.






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